I have to say that it is nice to see there are others going through the SAME exact things I am stuggling with.
I am a first year President with a 2nd year principal who is trying to take over our Booster Club. I am NOT good with confrontation either.
Our secretary was out sick one month and the principal kindly offered to take the minutes for that meeting. It was a nice offer...but this month, our secretary was back and in attendance and he told her he was going to take the minutes because he had his laptop already out and ready. She was highly offended, I had no clue what to do in front of a room full of people. It was awkward and horrifying and awful.
From arguing with parents, to be totally abrasive and rude to trying to write the agenda for me....it is getting old and the year has just started!
We have the same problem with our principal dominating. Our principal, however, is sneaky about it. To combat the 'disconnect' that has occurred between her and the PTO (this is her third year at the school), I decided to set up meetings between her and my VP. We discuss what we're doing, schedules, budget, etc... Since then she has taken away one of our fundraisers and had her secretaries do it and told us the money would go directly to the school's general fund and had no specific plan for the money. She hasn't told us about these things happening, she either doesn't send our flyers home or tells us after the fact that she decided to change it. What can we do?
She has also had two committee meetings for an event that the PTO sponsors and for which I've heard nothing except through the grapevine. She contacted the committee chair directly. If they were to communicate with me they would know that the budget on that committee's list is for two events and not one. The principal has also gotten rid of our reading incentive program, our fundraising incentive program and the presidential academic award because not all the students in the school would be able to earn them.
She does not allow us to communicate directly with the teachers. All communication has to go through her in an e-mail to the teachers. We used to send a flyer to teachers letting them know what to expect from PTO. I understand her previewing anything that goes to teachers or parents. What can I do to get the support from teachers that I don't think we're getting? If they don't support our fundraisers, the kids won't either.
When we approached her at our monthly private meeting about students and parents not participating in our fundraisers because of the incentives, she replied that students should know to raise money for the good of the school. At this same meeting we mentioned that we're having trouble encouraging newer parents at the school to participate. They do not feel welcome to be in the school. Meanwhile, the parents who were there with the former administration are upset that they are not comfortable to participate in the school as much. How can I encourage them?
There are a lot of little things that bother volunteers so much that we're losing them quickly. Our testing scores are getting worse. Our parents are complaining that their children are not challenged. We're a small school of about 250 and are about to lose more good families if things don't improve. What can I do?
Another big concern we had was that she brought peanuts to serve in the library during a parent meeting. We have some peanut and tree nut allergies in the school and the library is not a typical place to bring food. She assured us that the tables are wiped down in response to the flu season, but then served the peanuts in the front office. How is this acceptable?
Also good to add in to a discussion like that is what history tells us happens to groups where principal takes over reins too forcefully -- over time, best volunteers fade away and find other outlets for their talents (the local Cancer Walk, the Library board in town, their college alumni association, etc.).
If you can recognize and help with principal's concerns (ask her perhaps what those are); hopefully she can do same with yours. That's the best recipe for long-term health.
That all starts, as jewel points out, with that adult conversation.
Rather than viewing this situation has needing a "confrontation" with the principal, I suggest you meet with her to seek clarification of her thought process. Ask questions. Such as:
"My understanding from the former PTO Presidents and our by-laws, is that the President sets the agenda for the PTO meetings with prior input from the principal. Would that work for you for our future meetings? Do you have any topic of discussions you'd like to add to our October agenda?"
"What are your goals you would like the PTO to assist with this year?"
"I was surprised by your assertion that Mrs. ________ was in charge of counting our fundraising money without myself or the Treasurer present. Was there something our PTO has done that made you concerned we wouldn't accurately reconcile the funds? Does the situation also work in the reverse that the other schools fundraising would be reconciled by our PTO? Why or why not?"
"As with your predecessors, I'd like to ensure we collaborate on decisions that will affect or direct the PTO. Would you be amenable to this?"
I am the new PTO president this year. We also have a new principal. Here are my issues.
1. Principal took over our first PTO meeting with her own agenda, did not follow mine. Also brought in someone to speak that I was unaware of.
2. As President I am in charge of getting our fundraiser money counted. I planned for the day and had parents that volunteered to come in and help. I was just told that the money has been counted by the leader of the fundraiser at the other school we go in with. This was not run by me first. I don't think someone from another school needs to count our money without myself or our Treasurer present.
The principal is on our Board as well as a teacher. So she does get a vote with our funding requests. Our by-laws state that activities and goals must go through the principal as well as money needs to be counted with the principal present. No where does it say that she makes the agendas or can make decisions without my knowledge.
I'm not happy with how this year is going so far. Things are being done behind my back without my knowledge. How do I approach the principal about this? I'm not a big fan of confrontation and I feel this is what it's going to turn into. I have no problem with her attending meetings, wanting to be involved but I do not want her to make any decisions without prior approval from me as President.
