JHB didn't say you were bullying the principal. Her comment meant that she wasn't a fan of principals who bullied parents.
It seems like there is two different issues here. One is you don't know where the money that has been raised in the past has gone. It seems that JHB has given you some sites to help you figure that out.
The other is that you want to start a parent group and are being rebuffed by the principal. It sounds like you want to start the parent group to raise money for things (which is kind of a whole other philosophical discussion, but I'll ignore that for now). In his mind, this might set off red flags of all kinds--anything from who is going to handle the money to how it will handled to worrying about turning kids into junior salesmen.
I would say that first you should see if you can both agree that the school needs additional money for certain things that aren't covered by the district budget and that create an additional financial burden on your low income families--field trips might be a good example.
If you two can reach agreement that there is a need, then it's a matter of negotiating the best way to meet that need. Maybe instead of fundraisers per se, you could get some parents together to approach local corporations to be business partners with the school. Maybe you could find some parents who would be willing to write grants. Maybe you could show him statistics on BoxTops from other schools in your area so he could see that they could raise $100s or $1000s of dollars without anyone having to sell anything. Is he friends with a principal at a neighboring school that has a PTO? Find out what that PTO does and see if you can model on that one.
I am not bullying the principal. I believe he should be involved and very involved. I just dont think it is all up to him for what we do. I believe he should have a say and a big say but I dont believe he should over power the parents willing to help in anyway, shape or forum. I think it is a good idea to talk with the principal about fundraiser. I am hoping that you are understanding mine and other parents issues here. We have NO problem working with him the only problem is when he runs everything and its suppost to be a parent teacher organzation. By run I mean makes all calls with out any parents suggestions. I know the money for a PTO goes back in the school for the kids and teachers. With that said befor I started or even tried starting a PTO I went to the principal ( months ago). I went to him out of respect that he does run the school and we need to work togethier. What I did not expect was to be brushed off for almost 7 months and when I go to him yet again, ( still going to him instead of just forming one like PTO today states I can) to talk, then he brushes me off. We finally meet and every idea I have suggested was turned down almost be-littled ( example: box topps). Then a day after the meeting thing I said in it that he thought was not a good idea he is trying to do, with out having a PTO started. I understand that school budgets are being cut but when my principal sits in his office and tells me first off we dont need a PTO because 90% of are parents are poor and second off he is not going to do anything else that is going to take time from his family, that they are not a yes family. Is plain wrong if he does not want this then why does he all the sudden want it his was. Negotiation would not be a problem if he is willing to do it. With starting a Pto I had hoped to be able to help the kids go on field trips maybe make the cost less by having the PTO paying for the busses or meals or even both. The way it stand a " non active PTO" means they do not have a PTO. So money he is stating is for the PTO but it does not really exsist. I had an idea to do a supplie list that the office, teachers, and other staff could write what they need to help in thier department so every week the PTO could by items off those list for everyone to work smoother, once again not a good idea. If you want to say I am bullying the principal what would you say he is doing to the parent???I think I would have no problem with him running the hole money thing if he or the distract could show where the money went.
If the PTO doesn't exist, it can't have funds - at least not in my opinion. To me - no PTO and he controls the funds, that's a school fundraiser, whatever term is used.
Also - and I promise I'm not blindly supporting the principal - but I do have a lot of compassion for them. Their area is education. He probably never envisioned being a quasi-accountant, budget officer, HR manager, responsible for more compliance areas than he can understand. My only point is that he may not be willfully ignoring your requests. He's probably simply overwhelmed.
Your school is part of the public sector and therefore subject to "transparency". For instance, I can go online and see a report of every single check they wrote (at the district level). Of course, not knowing their codes, doesn't mean I understand it. In August 2011 they spent $2872.60 for carpet and $1268.12 for repair of rotten wood at the elementary school.
The point is, every transaction is documented. Reports can easily be run. You could call the district auditor or budget officer and explain you want to know more about the budget and expenses for your school and ask what he suggests. Push come to shove you can file an open records request with their PIO.
But does the history help you? (or has there already been a fundraiser for this year?) Would you be better off trying to negotiate a relationship with the principal moving forward?
Let me also state - that while I have no patience for bullying principals - I often tend to think they SHOULD control the fundraisers and deposit the money. As long as you agree in advance how funds will be used and he honors that agreement, I think it's a wonderful idea to get PTOs away from financial responsibilities and concentrating on school activities, volunteerism, and parent communication.
The principal has to scrounge to find money for the popular (extra speakers/programs) and the mundane (bathroom tissue and copy paper).
In that case, your negotiation power is at the beginning. Yes, the PTO will be glad to supply the manpower for the fundraiser as long as we agree what our hard work yields.
And the agreement might be he would fund specific things or percentages. In that situation, I wouldn't expect a to-the-penny-accounting. Nor agreement for 100%. It doesn't work that way. I'd expect proof that he covered the programs/supplies we agreed upon. He literally needs some funds to run the school. But that's really more about relationship building than accounting.
Back when I was pres of an elementary PTO, we frequently gave the principal a part of the money for the Activity Fund. So maybe the amount was $3000. In reality he was spending Activity Funds all kinds of things. But he'd let us "cherry pick" how we wanted our money tagged. So the $3000 would be for a new computer or new equipment for the music room. We'd let his regular money go for floor cleaner and copy paper.
My school district is San Augustine. I have heard right from the principal that the money we raised selling cookie dough was for the PTO funds but he could not even tell me who was in the PTO because it was a "non active PTO". He also has no proof to show where the money went. There is more to this but I am not sure how to say it out loud. I am giving you the main facts from him to my ears.
