I think the main thing to keep in mind if you meet with her one-on-one is to go in with an inquiring mind, as opposed to going in to vent your frustration. WHY is she throwing roadblocks in the PA's way? Does she realize she is doing it? What is HER goal with her behavior? WHY has she not wanted to be involved and hasn't embraced the new PA? What can be done to move forward to the satisfaction of both parties? Etc.

And, realize that there is only so much you can do. If worst comes to worst, it'll your PA can't be faulted if you make a definitive decision to cut your losses and disband. In fact, the DIRECTOR will be held accountable for the absence of a PA since it is a state requirement of the program. If she "cuts off her nose to spite her face" (so to speak), it'll be her problem to deal with. Faced with that option, she may do an about-face in her demeanor.

I appreciate your advice, I will be meeting with the exec. board this Thursday. I did send out reminders to the board including the director, hopefully she makes the meeting. If by chance she doesnt make it, I will request another one on one meeting and will use your advice. I will keep you posted.
Again, thank you for your thoughts.

Since she keeps throwing up roadblocks in your way, you don't have anything to lose by just laying your cards on the table with the director in a one-on-one meeting. Tell her that, in your interpretation, she clearly doesn't want a Parent Association at the program because of this, this, and this reason. Share with her your frustration with trying to orchestrate value-added options to the program and being blocked at every turn. Ask her if the situation, as you view it, is an accurate assessment in her eyes would she please be candid regarding her feelings on the matter. Ask her how she would like to proceed since the State mandates that the program has a PA, yet her actions are making it difficult for your group to proceed.

If she totally refuses to discuss the matter, budge, or start making reasonable accomodations for the PA, offer to ask the person/organization that she reports to to step in and arbitrate the situation. Perhaps that would be a representative from the NY Admin Children's Services or maybe there is an intermediary level person that she reports to regularly.

This will be your ace-in-the-hole move and should not be brought out on a whim but only if there appears to be absolutely no indication that she will accomodate the PA. Once you bring up this option, she'll perceive it as a threat and will slam and barricade out of defense so be absolutely certain there is no other option first.

Thank you for the reply.
The director of the program acts as the principle. It's a daycare program w/preschool and is similiar to a school setting funded by NYS Admin. Children Services and the State mandates a Parent Association.

Parents united within the program are formed as the Parent Association Committee. There is a President (myself), V. President, Treasurer, Corr. Secretary, Rec. Secretary.

Before elections we were told by the program's staff that the PAC wasnt active for over 5yrs. However, after our initial newsletter went out stating exactly that, we were told that the information wasnt true. The director explained how the previous PAC came in to fundraise for money and at the end of the year left with the money, in contrary to what was previously stated by the director.
Yes we are new to the leadership positions, as for the school setting.

Our mission/purpose is to unite the parents so we can work collectively to enhance our children's daycare/preschool experience. Although, this area is still work in progress the above statement is the direction for the PAC.
We were elected in November 08, since then I havent had any cooperation from the directior, in regards to establishing uniformity.

We used the 2hr Power Pledge. This was used during a Breakfast Meet&Greet, to engaged parents. We havent met since early November 08, so the pledge was used to see who's interested and what were their interests. The director made a big fuss about the pledge. She felt that it shouldve been approved by her first, we didnt have a problem with any other communications being distributed. The director would assign her assistant to view our communications and we would distribute.
Just to mention, a few weeks ago I established a group email/website for PAC. I was told by the director before Christmas, that we werent able to use our own email/website, we need to utilize theirs. I disagree, we should have our own source of communications, via. email, bullentin board, etc.
I've been requesting one on one meetings with the director, we've invited her to our exec. board meetings and the director finds every excuse to not attend. She complains that we are meeting to much, 4:30pm is too early and 6:00pm is too late and believe me we've been exploring our options. Anyway, the purpose for having an intitial meeting with the director was to explore collaborative methods, expectations, etc. and she has been dodging the opportunity. I've requested parent handbooks, policy/procedures, and have been denied.

I found that the executive board has been around far longer than I and they are more familiar with the staff. After the newsletter was finished and ready for distribution, no other member was around for stapling and distribution. The responsibility fell on me as well as the creation/editing. I mentioned to the director that both secretaries arent available and it left all the work on me. The director took my words out of context and restated it to the recording secretary. Because the secretary is a field worker, I was told that she finds it difficult to maintain both and will be resigning.
This situation is becoming very childish (he say, she say). I believe that the staff is playing on the executive team to pull us apart????

There certainly are a number of issues you presented here, so it's difficult to know where to start to advise you. Can you please provide additional information, specifically:

1) What do you mean "Director of the program"? Do you mean that this person is the equivalent to a school principal and that the "program" is the equivalent to a school setting?

2) Is the "executive team" the equivalent to a PTO or PTA board whereby there is a president, VP, treasurer, and so on that operates at the pleasure of the Director?

3) You mentioned that you all are new, so was there not an executive team or PTO of any kind previously? Or, if there was, what happened to all those people?

4) What is the mission/purpose of your group?

5) Why is there a struggle to get historical information? Who has it and what reasons are they giving you for not providing it?

6) What are the surveys for? Who is being surveyed?

7) What interactions does the executive team recording secretary have with the program staff? What was the nature of the complaints against the recording secretary by the staff?

Hello All,
Desperate need for advice.
I've been elected for President of our parent association committee Oct. 15, 2008, and the director of the program has been fussing here and there ever since.
We ran a continental breakfast meet and greet this morning, it was a nice turnout. Just to mention I took care 90% of the logistics. No problem! I wanted it to turn out nice. This was held to introduce the faces and personalities of the executive members to the parents. Note: the executive team is new to our positions. Because we aren't transitioning from a previous runnig committee, planning/organization/events etc. are a little slower than normal.
Okay, it appears to be struggle obtaining information. Information including funds that the group is entitled to via. City/State, program's policy and procedures, old committee documents, and so on.
This evening, before I was leaving, after volunteering my time not only with the morning breakfast but working tirelessly for the program's holiday party, I was told that before distributing any surveys the director must look over for approval. Maybe due to my tiredness, her words were a little frustrating to me, however there was a tone in her voice that sounded sarcastic and also left me with the feeling that I am being talked about.
I later contacted the vice president to see if she was confronted about the issue, I was told that it wasn't a concern that came up. However, the v.president did inform me that our recording secretary is resigning because it was said to her by staff that her work wasnt sufficient.
Now, I am new to the school and I know I bring a positive attitude when working with/within the school.
I guess, I am asking for advise as to how to deal with this women's unbearable attitude.
The director is much older than I and has been around for quite some time. I realize there are boundaries I dont want to cross and others I am not too sure about. However, I will not let anyone step all over me.