As always with these kinds of issues certain questions need to be asked before we can provide our thoughts...
Q: Is your group independant, possibly 501(C)3, or are you under the umbrella of the school?
The reason why this is so important is because of the dictatorship that the Principal seems to be trying to put in place. If you are under the school, then you are under the Principals "control" and he has "the right" to do everything that you say he is doing. On the other hand, if your group is an independant, 501(C)3 non-profit organization, then he is, IMO, over stepping his bounds. Mind you that for groups like ours to be successful we need the support of the Principal. Why a Principal would work against a PTO is beyond me as our whole purpose is to make his school better for his students and his staff, as well as the parents and guardians of his students. "Shutting down" a PTO is just plain stupid. If you are a non-profit, independant group then likely you control your own funds and make your own decisions, with the Principal's guidance hopefully, but not by being controlled by him.
For he to say "no more meetings" would be over-stepping his bounds.
For he to say "You can't have a By-Laws Committee Meeting" without me there is again, over-stepping his bounds.
If you are independant these decisions should be controlled by your group and your Executive Board. So, this first question is very important.
Q: What does your current Bylaws state regarding ammending the Bylaws, control of funds, Principal involvement, etc.?
This is important because even if you are an independant group, if your Bylaws give the Principal this much control (which would not be "normal) then he would have the right to do what he is doing.
Now, lets get beyond these questions...
I believe what you have explained is that the President that was voted in last time left, so the V.P. that was voted in last time stepped up and took on the Presidency, as per your Bylaws. You were voted in as the new V.P. Being a Kindergarten mom I assume that you are pretty new to this whole PTO "business". What about the now President?
The reason I ask is that it sounds as though she is possibly part of the problem. It sounds as though the Executive board is devided on supporting her and have possibly complained to the Principal.
Has the Principal discussed complaints with the President, as far as you are aware?
It almost sounds like the Principal has received numerous complaints about something and that it has finally gotten to this point.
From what I can gather though it sounds as though your President (are you the President now?) and the Principal are having issues. As a PTO President, if the Principal made decision of this nature without discussing them with me first I would be livid, and would schedule a formal meeting with him to discuss. If someone or someones have issues with me, my group or our endeavors, and brings them to the Principal I once again would be very upset with him if he didn't bring them to my attention before making any decisions.
So, let us know the answers to these questions and maybe we can guide you from there. In the meantime know that all of the volunteer are there for the children and sometimes things go further than they need to. More than likely this all can be woked out.
Thanks and good luck,
PresidentJim