I agree with diff that you are the President and if you feel that the initial meeting should be just you and the Principal then so be it, that's the way it should be.
I would recommend e-mailing the entire committee and seek questions from everyone about what they would like to know. For example, last year we had a new Principal and everyone was very interested if field trips, which were not allowed by the previous administration, would now be allowed. So by asking these questions of the entire committee, including the VP, you're giving everyone a "say".
After that set your own meeting with the Principal under your own conditions/time. I wouldn't even mention it to the VP at this time. Just write in the e-mail that you're "in the process of setting up an initial meeting with the Principal".
Once the meeting is complete e-mail the answers to the various questions to the entire committee.
As diff said, this will set the precedence of how things are done. During your meeting you may wish to define protocols with the Principal, such as if anyone comes to the Principal about anything PTO related that she/he informs you or that she/he directs the person to you.
You say that you think it is appopriate for you to make the initial meeting with the Principal a private one to introduce yourself as the PTO President. Allowing her to budge her way in will set a precident and diminish your authority unless you nip it in the bud right now. Tell her your first order of business will be setting a date for the principal to meet the entire board but in order to make her feel the most comfortable it is important to not overwhelm her initially. If the VP disagrees...you can let her know that it is her right to disagree and your right as the President to move forward in the fashion you deem most appropriate for the health of the group's relationship with the Principal. Assure her that as soon as the meeting is concluded you plan to have a feedback session on any relavent points as well as the pinpointed date for the groups get together. End of discussion.
We have had a poor leader that has been removed from position. A new principle has just been appointed. My VP is very bold and unpredictable, she likes to take charge and do her own thing. I'm working on meeting with the new Principle and now my VP is demanding that we (her and I) meet with her. I want to meet with her on my own first, since we had turmoil in the school previously. My VP has great potential, but knows how to cause an uproar and has not always come through for me. But, it is not like we have people beating down our door to fill positions. What do I say to her with out setting her off?
