perusing is right "It hurts, especially when you have the best of intentions, want to understand and help. Stay focused! Remember we're here for the betterment of our kiddos. Don't let them make you hide away."
Most people get immediately defensive when you ask anything at all. It is unbelievable sometimes that they think its my way or no way, and if a question comes, they take it as, we think your way is bad, as opposed to just the simple 'hey i just have a question'. Sometimes people cannont understand that a question is justa question, with no hidden agenda, just asking for clarifications, wanting to understand something.
Ultimately you have to feel sorry for the folks who exclude, or try to exclude other parents, and have to wonder, do you really want to belong to an exclusionary group as that? It fills a need they have. So let em have it, their needs filled. If it helps them along. Doesnt make it right (doesnt make them look good either!), but might make your life easier if you look at it from their perspective.
And as to attributing your ideas to their name, hey, who said that 'copying' (or in this case, 'using your idea') is the greatest compliment of all? Someone in the bible said, never seek recognition, never let the right hand know what the left one is doing, or something similar. Just feel good the kids are ultimately getting the benefit of your good ideas. Keep on contributing your ideas, sounds like they can use them!!!