Hi there,
Just want to start by saying is many groups have challenges with the school principal. We have a whole section on our site devoted to building a good relationship with the principal.

In your case, it sounds like this is a new principal who either doesn't have lots of experience working with PTOs or has had a bad experience. Or, she could be stressed by her new job and is limiting what's on her plate.

Can you reach out to the principal and say, we'd really like to sit down-- we have half way through the year now -- and check in on how things are going. We'd really like to work together and understand more on how to do that.

The request to see flyers before they go out -- that's actually common. The principal is likely concerned that anything going out to the public reflects well on the school.

What she said about 20 votes sounds like she may not have the information from your bylaws, which I'm guessing explains how your group needs a quorum to vote and what the quorum is.

What she said about "getting rid of the PTO" is technically not true, but, she can make it very difficult, if not impossible, for you to function at the school.

So, there is a chance that these issues can be worked out if you come together and stress that you and the principal are on the same page. How can you work together? Ask her what she needs from your group to better understand what your are doing, what you'd like to do.

Here's the link to the principal page on our site. You'll see a several articles that provide more details on how to build a good relationship with the principal.

www.ptotoday.com/the-principal

Good luck -- and stay in touch. Happy to help with additional questions as you work through this!

Rose