Question: Where to Proceed

Our PTO is a very small PTO and has been run by essentially the same person going on 3 years. This person to be quite honestly bullies, lies and attacks everyone. Parents no longer want to attend meetings and no one wants to hold board positions. They use email as a tool/weapon to attack others, including blind carbon copying many outside of PTO, to the point they are leaving our school for attempting to stand up to them and restore the PTO to an organization serving the children. The Principal has said their hands are tied and they are separate from the PTO. What should we do? The situation is horrible, the PTO is no longer a lucrative organization. This is the last possible term they have, should we all walk away and ride the storm returning next year?

Asked by Anonymous

Answers:

Advice from PTO Today

Rose H writes:
Well, this sounds pretty horrific, but it is almost never hopeless. Let's walk through this.

For starters, the current president is on his/her 3rd year? Time to check the bylaws and see if that document stipulates any term limits. If it does, it is a great opportunity to bring in some new blood later in the year when elections are held.

But, to more immediate concerns: It sounds like there's a pretty bad cycle of negativity. You can't make people stop sending nasty emails, but you can start bringing positive energy into the group and try to find a few friends/allies who can join you and do the same. Can you try, with your allies, to hold an event, something small and all about your community -- maybe a holiday luncheon for the teachers later in the year? This would get people working on something positive. In the meantime, you are certainly ask to address the membership loss with the current board at the next meeting. Keep the conversation clean and professional - don't bring in personalities. Raise your concerns about the group and the damage you feel the negative environment is having on the school community. If the president resists, then it is time to go back to the principal and ask for help in resolving these serious conflicts. Tell him/her that the group is at risk if it doesn't get back on track.

Here's a great article on dealing with difficult people that might give you some good tips for when you have a conversation with the PTO president. (And if it makes you feel any better, that's not the first time today we've passed along the link to that article!)

Good luck and keep us posted!
Rose C
Community Manager