Question: Being Banned from the PTO

I was PTO secretary until today when I formally resigned. The PTO President was doing things that I questioned. I put my concerns in a letter that was written with much thought. She replied back by accusing me of certain things, and pin pointing back to me that as she was PTO President, she was in charge. If I cannot put my ideas and opinions in front of the PTO and get an adult response back, what is the point of being in it. She has ousted serval parents from volunteering from the PTO because she or another member did not like them. She tries to have a clique of parents together that she likes, while us who want to be there and help cannot because she won't allow it. I'm fustrated that I cannot help my school out in this manner and was wondering if someone could tell me where to go to put in an investigation into such actions? The principle is aware of this problem, since I gave him a copy of my resignation letter. He said he would look into the matter, and I believe him, but I am unsure as to what he can do. Someone please help me out.

Asked by Anonymous

Answers:

Community Advice

carmencita writes:
Hi there, I'm having the same exact problem in my kid's school. I think solving the problem local (with the Principal) it might not be a big help because the schools sometimes support the PTA first, because of the funds the PTA bring in to the school. If I see that things does not change I will go to the National PTA and write a letter with the complains.

Community Advice

PTOCONCERNEDPARENT writes:
I'm sorry that this has happened to you too. I too have just resigned as PTO Vice President. Our President is CONTROLLING to the point where I was questioning how things were being done & when I stated we aren't following the Bylaws then the *@#^ hit the fan. Long story short, I'm suspecting her of doing inappropriate things with the PTO funds.....Never once accused her of anything, but I'm suspicious....Next thing I know Teachers are coming up to me, asking me if I was having troubles at home with my Husband, Teachers telling me I'm being talked about in school. Teachers being rude to me, this President starting rumors about me, my husband my child.... Unreal...I've been a Volunteer in our School for 6 yrs now & this President is acting worse than some of the children I've tried to Tutor & Volunteer to help!!! Our Principal is new this year so she hasn't been much help. Starting to think the PTO President has her fooled. Unfortunately I resigned because I will not be held financially accountable for someone else's wrongdoings. Now I plan on asking my long list of questions @ the next meeting. I have a feeling our so called President will blow a gasket! My best advice is to continue to attend meetings & don't back down. A PTO is only as good as the good people who will help those children, not themselves. Everyone seems to forget this is for our children, not our own selfish needs or pride. I want to set a good example for those kids, that is why I won't argue with her, but I am a concerned parent now. I have every right to ask why $ was spent & where it was spent. Good Luck, I hope I helped some.....

Advice from PTO Today

Rose H writes:
A couple of different thoughts.

For starters, I really like what PTOCONCERNEDPARENT said, "A PTO is only as good as the good people who will help those children, not themselves."

It sounds like none of you wants to walk away from your respective groups. You want to still participate, even if you are no longer on the boards. So, hang in there. You can still look for ways to volunteer, join committees and participate.

As far as dealing with the president is concerned, ask yourself, what do you need this relationship to be and why? Although it is great when everyone gets along, you don't have to be friends to participate in the PTO or PTA. Is she tolerable? Enough for you to still do your volunteer work? Then you could try to let it go. If she is making it impossible for you to volunteer, then that is a whole separate problem, and you may want to try to have a conversation with her to discuss how to work together. If that doesn't work, then, yes, ask the principal for help.

If a situation has escalated to where rumors are being spread and you questions about finances, then iit's definitely time to seek out the principal for guidance. I wouldn't assume the principal is only interested in defending the PTA or PTO. If there is something going wrong at their school, they will want to know about it.

Good luck guys, and, here's the link to our How to Deal with Difficult People article which has really helped many folks.

Rose C.