I wonder, for this one time, is there a way that you could share the job with this other member? I know that this would not be the ideal way to handle this, but at the same time I agree with the other members that neither of you should have bid for this job as it was bound to cause this conflict.
We've had similar problems with one of our events. We have a vendor evening where there are vendors of various kinds at the school. A handful of these vendors are PTO and/or school parents, but that is not the conflict as they do pay for their table and do provide the service. The conflict comes when we have more than one similar vender. For example we have an Avon rep and a Mary Kay rep. Both, of course, wanted to take part. In this case we did not exclude either and allowed both, just putting them at even distances away from each other and away from the entrance.
Your situation is somewhat different, but there must be a common ground. Maybe one event you provide the servies and the next she does. Or this year you get it, next year she does. Also each of your prices should be the same and agreed upon so as to not cause a conflict.
I Agree 100% With You That It Is Not Worth It All. After A Long Talk With Some Of The Borad Members And My Husband I Have Desided To Be The Better Person And Let It Go. The Way I Looked At It Was This Is Just One More Hurdle To Jump Over And It Is Not Worth Having Every One Mad At Me. I Don't Want To Hurt Any One Over This Goffy Thing. It Is Just Not Worth It To Me To Loss Friends Over Something Like This. Plus I Don't Want To Hurt The Pto. Thanks For Every Thing.
I think the size of the town is important too. Unreg mentioned it was a small town.In a small town, youre limited to vendors/bidders and usually everyone is somehow related to everyone else, inlcuding school admin, boe and pto board so there are tons and tons of politics under the radar. If the board decides its own can 'profit' from selling their services or goods to the shcool or pto, then at the very least they have to open all bids up to EVERYONE that has a family business. Thats where favoritism, personal politics, and relationships of all of the above, really can create bad blood in a shool comunity if preferential treatment is 'perceived' (even if not real). In theory it really is best to steer clear away from mixing personal business and volunteer group business, but in small towns, its usually not the practice.
No one in our PTO, board members included, can have any personal gain from anything that our PTO does. It is not stated in our bylaws, but our school board has made it perfectly clear. The situation came up when the PTO VP wanted to have a fundraiser selling her products (I won't say what company she works for) and she would split the profits with the PTO. I think it makes like easier for everyone when PTO members keep their professional lives separate.
Look at the bright side, if you DO step down, you can put in bids for phototgraphy needs for other events, and do away with the whole issue of perception.
But, its true, if other board members also often put in bids for other things, then it really isnt fair you were asked to step down over this.
Sounds more like there is another reason in the background, more like personal issues or the pres is trying to please the other photographer for some reason unbeknowst to you -- personal politics etc etc. You cant win when people take sides with out doing things fairly. Let it go. Not worth you worrying over it. If it makes you feel better, take the matter up to the principal just to vent to a neutral third party not in the 'talk-loop' if you know what I mean!! I wouldnt even discuss it with other parents, would just fuel the fire already started. You need to get over it and move on. Yes you wer enot treated fairly, but it doenst mean yo uhave to come down to that level of behavoir and 'fight it out'. Just take the high road like someone else said and show you are above the bickering and backhandedness (at least, sounds like it fromwhats posted. maybe there is more to it).
