kudos to you for getting involved! Many of us have felt the same way I'm sure and that's why we keep staying involved like gluttons for punishment! why do we put ourselves through this constant interview process for acceptance while giving up our lives and many sleepless nights? for our kids that's why....to make a difference, that's why.
Being President for the past two years, I have many motto:
1. PTO never sleeps (I'm constantly thinking of the next event and next event)
2. if you don't like how it's done, get involved and try to make a positive change
if you feel deep in the center of your core that whatever you are doing is giving you great satisfaction, then keep doing what you are doing. you don't have to change the way you feel, you have a right to your feelings.
it's harder to be the bigger person and squash any personal stuff aside and just get the project done, but you did it.
now you know how you feel and YOU will never let another volunteer feel the same way. That is a Leader in the making!
Let them do things their way, if it's not as successful as it could've been, then it's the PTO Board to deal with.
the fact that someone volunteered to take on an event, that in itself is a huge step that many other parents don't want the responsibility for.
just take on something else and put your own spin on it. when they see how organized you are or how successful your event was.... then it will be them that come to you for your advice!
life is too short to let people get under your skin, trust me.... I've had two years of it! Just keep reminding yourself....it's for your kids, it's for your kids, it's for your kids!
I'm sorry that you felt that way, but there is no need to apologize for feeling left out or thinking that you are being petty or thin-skinned. Most of us volunteer to help the kids and we thrive on feeling needed and valued. People who don't care if they are needed or valued seldom volunteer!
Remember that if you felt that way, plenty of other people felt that way, too. They just didn't take the time to say so. I hope they give the group a second chance as you did.
Reading the recent replies made me feel so much better. I like the idea of mentoring for next year and will talk with the other members about implementing that idea for next year. I admit I was feeling pretty petty about voicing my topic on here, but now I see that I am not alone. I guess as an outsider it was very difficult to come in to begin with and offer to help. In my case, I only know two of the parents and really, they are just acquaintances. It was very difficult to walk into that first meeting and offer to help. Then to be treated as if your help wasn't really necessary was difficult to swallow. I still should have examined my feelings a little before I wrote on here. I had just received a phone call from the head person and the one job they had given me, she said she would just do it herself. It really irritated me. I wasn't about to argue with her and as I discussed with my husband, next year will be a different story and I'll probably be doing so much that I'll wish someone would take over. I've just decided to focus on what I HAVE been able to accomplish for the school and have reminded myself that while some people like to make the focus about them, its really about the kids and the school. I am learning a lot about what I personally won't do, while gaining invaluable experience of what needs to be done next year. Thanks for all the great advice and as a rookie, I now know I am not alone in my feelings.
Please don't knock being a business contact for donations - that is really important!!!! You are representing both your school and your group - how you come across is how the business views your group and if they get a bad feeling that is what they tell other businesses. We had a bad contact person a couple of years ago and we are just now getting over the bad rep we received with some of our local businesses.
As for helping set up and not knowing what to do and the people who do know not really telling you how to help. I have found that as an organizer when I write down everything and sort out each job on a different piece of paper with a full description of what to do and where to find things - I can just hand out a sheet to someone asking and then depend on them to get it done as I would like. (I don't feel like I have to go back and redo.)
I always feel that my problem is that I can't get someone to co-work with me to learn some of the jobs on some of our fundraisers. I don't want people to feel that I am irreplaceable and want as many as possible to know how something works. I can't wait to suggest the mentor item for our group!! I hope it will work for us.
I know exactly how you feel. It took me one full year and then offering to take over Book Fair Chair when it became available. Now, I feel as though I have a voice. Your post really hit home for me today. I was just speaking to a Kinder teacher who relayed the feelings of a new parent not feeling welcome at our meetings and functions. This person is someone I consider a friend and I am floored to hear she feels this way. Her exact words were something like " what do you want from us? Are we just workers at functions." Several things were mentioned to her, such as our Treasurer leaving at the end of next year and she said that she was not interested. I am going to ask her to Co-Chair Book Fair with me and see how that goes.
Back to you. I think being an observer is an okay way to start because when they are looking for ideas to make it better, then you will have an idea as to what you would change. Alot of things change with the change of officers as well. We have a President in training this year and I have noticed the difference the fresh outlook has made. Next year will get better and once they are used to seeing your face and learning they can count on you, they will ask you to do more. You know how it is to feel it is easier to do it your self sometimes and you just have to realize that some people get possessive over the smallest things.
An idea that you can try to implement next year, once you are in a better position to facilitate change, is a mentoring program. Think about how great it is to team up a new member with an experienced one. What I try to do is have certain already active members ready for this role. When a new member comes in I introduce myself, ask them what class their child is in, etc. This way if I know that someone else has a child in that class I can pair them together. Sometimes they say, "Oh, I know so and so". In that case I try to team those people together. Now you have a member who can (and they understand what their role is) explain some of the things we do, the various fundraisers, events, etc. If the menotr volunteers for a committee, often the new member will as well. For example, "So lets go ahead and form the Harvest Hoopla committee. Please raise your hand if you would like to help plan and coordinate the event." When the mentor explains what that means and then raises their hand, sometimes that new member will say "Sure, I'll try". Next thing you know, a year later, that new member is a mentor themselves.
