the secretary might also be frustrated in her job if its not her boss that hired her.if she preceded in the position before the prinicpal, you never know if they get along. maybe she is taking out a poor work environment on innocent parents. who knows.
also, a boss who would speak ill (however slightly) of any staff in front of parents, well, that says a lot of negative about that boss. just food for thought.
IMHO, sometimes when a person feels stressed and unappreciated they can lash out at others. Do you have a volunteer committee? Are volunteers organized to help with copies/filing/phone answering for the office? Perhaps approaching the secretary and asking how the PTO volunteers can help her would be a way to 'extend the olive branch'. We have a volunteer form that list's office help as an option for volunteering. The school secretaries are the 'chairs' for this area. We gather the names of volunteers and forward them to the secretaries. They in turn contact the people and set up training time...phone system etc. This allows the secretaries to have help when they can't be at their desks. There is sensitive material that only secretaries can file and work on. If they have coverage at the desk so they can get the busy work done, it's a tremendous help and relieves their stress. I too was the victim of a not so nice secretary. After we approached her with the offer of help and got things organized, she became a happy, smiling secretary who is extremely cordial and nice to all volunteers who enter the school. Took some time, but well worth the effort.
"The principal told me not to take things personally and she's had other people come to her about this secretary."
wow you have learned something that can serve you well in years ahead at that school...you have a prinicpal that would spread gossip about a staff member, even tho its clear the intent was to make you feel better. doesnt matter, was in poor judgement imo.
you might wonder what she might say about YOU to other parents or staff, when you give (albeit justifiable) complaints about the staff member to her.
good luck. it sounds like the best MO is to just keep smiling, be polite, and fax your own faxes from home, office or even the post office! and of course, careful what you say to the secty! hello and goodbye are always safest.
I've never had a problem with her until I became President of the PTO. She's complained that she had to share her weekly spotlight on the bulletin board with the principal, had to to get all the staff in. She's also complained that she has to fax things for me, she's faxed two things. I'm always polite to her, usually just letting it roll until she talked to the fundraiser rep. The principal told me not to take things personally and she's had other people come to her about this secretary. While I realize what she does is very important, and have told her that more than once, she feels the school couldn't run without her.
If things continue past Thanksgiving, I will ask her to sit down and talk....probably even buy her lunch. Thanks for letting me vent.
Way back in my professional days as a consultant, my boss told me the very first person to get to know is the client's secretary. That good advice holds true in school, too. As you've already experienced, the secretary can shut you down. You can't get her off your back. That won't solve the problem. DLF is right. You need to talk to her privately. You might be surprised why she's being difficult. It probably doesn't have anythinng to do with you personally.
Oh boy--talk about a informal power holder in the school. I think the secretaries in our school are some of the most powerful folks out there. She sounds like something has gotten under her craw and maybe you need to be very grown up and sit down and talk to her about it in a non confrontational way that will clear the air. The comments etcetera can be so terribly disruptive and hurtful to the group. She has the ear of teachers, parents and children--not to mention the principal etc. I'd run not walk to the nearest pow wow table and make it better any way you can. There's just no good outcome with you two not being on positive terms...
