Okay, I have jus read EVERY reply here and can tell the same story but my twist is we are looking at disbanning. I send out a monthy newsletter, advertise in the school paper, the student paper has even done a story on us and I am still seeing 3 moms at our meetings.
I understand everyone is busy, but when I ask 6 mom's to bring A BAG of salad to school for a lunch for the teachers and I recieved one bag.

I'm stuck, I've had speakers come to meetings, I've held one hour meetings (to get people home to watch the football games- Mon. night) kept the same time, date, place....folks I am stuck.
I had a table at the registation night and got so much get feed back with this result.

I love the school and doing what I can for my daughter and the future of my 3 sons is so gratifying but I feel like I'm THE only one that has the ambition to be in the PTO.........

I think all you have some great points. I agree, at some level, with all the opinions stated. And while it may certainly be a legitimate problem in some PTO's, I'm also frustrated by the two big myths:

1) The PTO Board is just a big clique and not really interested in new people

2) "I want to help, but no one ever called me".

We have a great group: wonderful parents who volunteer and a board of 25-35 that meets monthly to transact all the PTO business. We beg, plead, recruit, invite, publish articles in newsletter, send flyers home asking for help, etc. I even wrote an article for our newslette titled "No One Ever Called". Our parents are pretty good about responding to requests. Yet I know there are people in our school who believe these two myths.

We just address it as best we can, do everything possible to involve more people, and move on.

I bet there are many other reasons why parents are coming/volunteering? Are the meetings planned at times when parents can come, will meetings be productive or just the latest complaint session? Did you give parents enough notice to plan to be there? Do parents feel like they are needed for something specific or just needed to write a check? What's the atmosphere like in your school for parents - how many parents are in the school topick up there child and how many are in the car? Are the teachers leaving befroe you can pull out ofthe parking lot yourself? PTO just doesn't go away overnight. It gets a reputation and it takes time, effort and patience to get it built back up. We don't have a PTO because of events that happened several years ago and we're struggling to get it back, chnaces are it won't happen while my kids are in school so I find other ways to be involved -it's harder but it can be done. Don't give up - your kids will see the effort, the disappointment, the impotance, and your determination - all of which can be painful but positive too!

this is a subject that has plagued my PTO for a long time. People do think that we are very cliquish but you have to enjoy the people you volunteer with or at least tolerate them to get something done. I look at it this way even if you only a few more people then you had last year you are doing great. If you are trying to volunteer your time just be patient go to the meetings however few there are and believe me you will get noticed. Volunteer to get prizes or find a guest speaker or some little something then work your way up. Believe me you will enjoy it for along time to come. sorry this is so long but volunteers are badly needed and appreciated. If there were no volunteers there would be no PTO

Heysmom,
Find a PTO Board member and let them know how you feel. I have been involved with PTO for several years. We have a school of 650. We have done everything to beg parents to come and help. This is year our fall festival was turned over to us (PTO) before PTO only did the food court. Teachers did the game booth. Well, I really was challenged the idea came that we needed to get parents involved. We asked the teachers to get a couple of parents that could be the leaders for the booths. Then we contacted them and told them we were going to be having a planning meeting. ETc. ETc., well, just to get to the point it worked out beautiflly the parents that signed up to lead the booths were great...the parent volunteers showed up at their time slots to work I was just so amazed. As I was calling parents I personally asked them what can PTO do for them and their children and I was amazed to hear that we are doing everything just great they enjoy our newsletter and PTO bulletin board. They feel that they are notified enough of what's happening. I told them that at anytime they wanted to know anything please feel free to contact me. I cannot believe that you school hasn't done anything to promote your PTO. Please seek a board member and see what's going on. We have had a terrific year so far. I feel that it takes stepping in and just take charge of somethings if you don't see things happening with the approval of the principal. And yes I also heard some parents say why, doesn't PTO do this or do that well, I say we are only 6 board members we all work full-time. If you have time write up your idea present to the board and we can surely see what everyone else thinks and would you mind chairing that committee for that activity. Well, I put it to the test and it has worked out great. Again, I want to praise you for wanting to get involve. Keep your chin up and continue to volunteer at school.

I have the feeling my response may not be popular, but here goes...

First, I suggest you read (or re-read) Tim's cover article on Family Involvement from this fall's PTOToday cover article. It emphasizes that parents might be more apt to become involved if they truly understand how much it BENEFITS their children. Involvement also comes in many forms & people should be encouraged to help in the ways that work best for them & their families.

Second, it's GREAT that some of you are delegating your work. However, a large part of delegating is following up far enough in advance to offer to assist that person in finishing, if necessary. The key word is "assist", not "take over". If someone "takes over" what I've been working on, it's not very likely that I will volunteer again. I also know that I personally have a difficult time remembering that I need to let other people run a project THEIR way, even if it differs from what I had in mind. I can tend to be pretty particular, so sometimes I have to really bite my tongue. Sometimes I even have to call someone back to apologize that I was butting in too much & that they really are doing a good job. That doesn't mean I'm afraid to let them know if I think they're going in the wrong direction, though. I just try to weigh things first and let some things slide. (the old "choose your battle" type of thing)

Haysmom, do your best to contact one of the PTO officers. Hopefully, they will embrace your help once they know you want to give it. If that approach is not successful, try going thru the principal. Do you know any other people interested in being more involved in the PTO? How is everyone's donation money being spent? Keep asking questions & hopefully you wil eventually find the right people. Even PTO's that only have meetings twice yearly usually sponsor events & try to communicate with members. Keep us informed about what you find out.

As far as a "clique" type image, communication with PTO members is SO important! Try to make sure your members know what PTO sponsors and how they can help. Also, it often helps if committee chairpeople personally call everyone on their committee to let them know about meetings & see how they can help, etc... Every parent is different, some will only help if they are asked directly. Others will charge right in... But it is very rare that any parent will be offended by being asked to help. Most, in fact, appreciate it, even if they are unable to help. If you are a comm. chair, try to take the time to speak with someone & find their strengths. Then it is often easier to match them to a task they would both enjoy & excel in.

I'm sorry that I got preachy here. But both extremes of this topic tend to get me riled up. (Side one: "Noone wants to help us with any programs, no matter how much we ask." Side two: "The same people run everything & noone is interested in my help.") What frustrates me the most is that you will find BOTH sides in the SAME organization. So obviously there is a communication problem somewhere! I guess maybe communication IS the key, which brings us back to Tim's article on family involvement.

Thanks, I guess it was my turn to vent!

Jo

[This message has been edited by MightyJo (edited 10-28-2001).]