I can verify Bertha's response about her school's parents being made well aware they aren't wanted at the "other" (now technically "their") middle school's PTA--I'm a parent at the "Other" school, and to make Bertha feel better, they don't even want their OWN parents there, let alone hers!

I too, have become a a rather pesky noisome mold at the school--even if I'm not allowed to particpate in things (our school group is notorious for letting people sign up for committees, then never calling them to let them partake in the fun--they only choose their friends), at least I can take a small amount of pleasure in being a thorn in their sides ! Seriously though, any parent wanting to be in the parent group should be THANKED and WELCOMED with open arms--not dismissed and ignored. Ask at the main office who the PTO pres is, and try contacting that person. Hopefully it's just ignorance on their part.

Try not to take it personally that they don't want you--it could be they're feeling defensive because you might actually know what you're talking about, and they're afraid you're going to "show them up." Try making a meeting with the principal about this, and offer to be the membership chair if they don't have one, or PR person if you really want to get under thier skin!

I felt the same way! I got roped into being PTO prez almost 10 years ago. But when my son went to jr high they DON'T ALLOW a parent group of any kind. That makes me so mad. They don't even allow us at dances. They pick a few teachers to chaperone the dances. When a school doesn't allow or want parents in the building or make them feel welcome, that is a red flag to me.

KDW- would your prinicpal allow you a few minutes at back to school night?

Our principal gives his speech then I get up and speak about what our PTA does for the school and for our children. Then I invite all who haven't joined or signed up for committees to do so at that time.

We send home sign up sheets with all the other school forms during the summer. We put the sign up sheet in our newsletters. We even send it home before school gets out. But we get a lot more people at back to school night.

This is our PTOs 2nd year in existence. We were able to get our volunteer form in the registration packets that went to each home.

We have been trying since day one to be open and welcoming. Anyone at our school asking about the PTO would be given information. Our website, our email, our phone, or we would get a message in our school mail box.

All help and ideas welcome!

In our town, on our side, we have one K-5 school and one K-8 school. When the kids go from our school(k-5) to the other school(k-8) at the first PTA meeting, they make it perfectly clear to us(from the k-5 school) that we are not wanted.

They will let us sign up for committees and take our money for dues and all fundraisers but they will not let us help out with anything. When you bring this up to any one from that school, we're told its not true. There isn't anything we can do.

They do let a few hand selected people (I happen to be one of the "chosen ones") to help out on occasion. The "chosen ones" have been compared to a fungus, once they show up there's no getting rid of them. It's easier to deal with us then fight us.

I guess I really enjoy being a boil on peoples butts!!

Before you go in guns blazing consider this, Middle school is a very different world than Elementary school. Being just a three year school, it's highly possible that the most experienced, most involved, may have moved into high school this year. With a new board and a scheduled fundraiser, they may have had to jump in and start working on it before they really knew what they were doing.
We also know that as our kids get older, not everything that is sent home to us, makes it home. There are plenty of good, reasonable reasons why they may have had a slow start with the communication.
In fact, since it's a Parent Teacher STUDENT group then your student may have kept the information because it too pertained to them.
If they are new, then use your expertise to help them get going but don't assume this is an issue of a clique. If you just want to stir things up then you're part of the problem instead of the solution. You have a lot to offer them and you can really be an asset but you won't be as valuable if you earn the reputation as the one who likes to start trouble.