Hi- our school has a process which you must go through to resolve a complaint. When you go to meet with the Principal it helps to have everything you want to cover on paper, I have even typed up my list of issues and asked for them to be answered. Yeah, it worked and our Principal was really good about it.
You are concerned about your relationship, keep the meeting light and informal. You are a concerned parent first and a PTO officer as a volunteer. Make sure your meeting goes well before you go farther down the food chain. Ask another parent or your spouse to join you in the meeting to keep you in line and it will show the Principal that you are not the only one that feels the way you do. Also there is that safety in numbers thing.

I would ask to meet with the superintendent of your school system. I do not think I would go before the Board of Education. Are there other PTO's in the system? Are they having any trouble? As far as school pictures, the school doesn't "pay" for that anyway. We parents pay and the school usually makes money off them. I would sure like to know what this womans problem is. What does the staff say about no school pics. How in the world could she have gotten new curtains out of your budget. You do have a budget don't you? As far as cap and gown for kinders. I do not believe that is appropriate anyway. How does your PTO president feel about all this?

Oh...one more thing I forgot to mention in my second answer to this post...You mention that you would like to make changes with the system and promote new programs...are you speaking of the educational process or new fun PTO stuff for the kids? In most districts PTO's do not have any say when it comes to cirruculum...If that is the type of changes you are hoping for I can understand why the Principal would have a problem with it. All districts choose their own educational materials and subjects based on many different factors not by PTO influence. If you are speaking of fun activities for the kids that is a different story...I still think a chat with the principal first is your best bet...

Personally I agree with Chrystal. So you're sure you're not relying on rumors or hearsay, speak w/the principal directly. If you do it from the standpoint that you'd like to hear her reasons for things she's "shot down", then it should go OK.

I myself don't think cap & gown kdgtn graduation is that big a deal. We had caps only & a party & I thought that was fine!

Good luck!

Hi again,
First and foremost talk with the principal, tell her your concerns and if she still is not willing to compromise on at least some of your issues then you need to call your board of education and asked to be placed on their agenda...if you do get put on the agenda only state the facts no heresay will be acknowledged. If they won't put you on the agenda you can still go to the meeting and usually at the end they have an "open forum" you'll then be given the chance to speak your mind. As far as the teahers are concerned they really shouldn't be airing their problems with the principal with any parent/parent group...it only adds fuel to the fire. You really need to talk rationally with your principal and not take the you won't do this kind of attitude, if you can find out what her expectations of the PTO are and let her know what your's is perhaps you can find some middle ground...please realize you can never win every fight and compromise is not losing. As far as going to the newspapers in my opinion that would be a big mistake you cannot drag this through the mud until all avenues have been tried. From your first post it does not seem that this principal has neglected her duties or harmed the children...she may have issues with the pto that need to be worked out and also her staff but that is not a newspaper story. By not following the proper channels you will back this woman ino a wall and probably end up doing great damage to your pto...principals do have the right to not allow your pto to operate from the school ie; no events...no distribution of fundraisers...etc. Please think rationally before you make your decisions...good luck:)

thank you for the suggestion i had thought about doing that but how does one approach a board with such a delicate matter??? I mean i really wouldn't want to be enemies with this woman if i am the pta vice president i will need her support in some aspect right??Taking her to a board meeting would probably make her hate me!!! Then she would really give us all a harder time doing things....Even the teachers dislike her but they won't say anything because "she's the boss" they say.She won't even let them make Phone calls from the office for pete's sake!
I would really like to make changes in our system and promote new programs that i know the kids would benefit from , but i'm certain she will decline most of my ideas.Should i propose them to her ,wait to be declined , then complain to the board???Or should i just go now and complain about her unwillingness to participate and promote any of our ideas? I've even thought of going to the newspapers, I really don't know which way to handle this would be best....Any ideas???