I agree with above post.....I had to laugh when I read our school handbook this year for volunteers.......written up by the district no less.....one of the rules is.....NO GOSSIPING. unenforceable, of course. and ever present. It starts in about 1st grade with the girls, I have noticed, and NEVER ends, in those so inclined.

For some reason, women thrive on drama. I don't know why but we do.
The president should be above all that. Leave it to the wanna-be alpha's to stir the pot and in time, it will be their undoing.

No good deed goes unpunished...Don't know who said it first but this is should be the PTO mantra. No matter how successful you are, how much you try to assuage feelings, be inclusive, be politically correct, be polite, be tactful, be supportive... someone is going to knock you for it. Grow a thick skin, smile sweetly and move on.

I reread the post and this strikes me as very odd:

I have had teachers come to me as well as other patents who are concern about the bad rep she is giving us (PTO).

Why would teachers come to YOU or OTHER PARENTS with a concern about a presumed 'bad rep' someone is allegedly giving the PTO? Since when (and to what end) does a teacher address such a matter to the head of the parent group? This is absurd and unprofessional and they are doing more harm than good, (ironically to their own reputations!) by what seems to be futhereing rumors and stirring the pot.

If a teacher in fact has FIRST HAND info with inappropriate comments from a parent, thier point person to address this is either that parent DIRECTLY, or if they choose, their BOSS, the principal. The head of the PTO is not the person a teacher should go to for something like this.

And if they have no first hand info on this matter, they should keep their thoughts to themselves.

Let thy speech be better than silence, or be silent. Dionysius the Elder

Flash back to 1984. Quote often repeated by IBM coworker and office mate. "I don't want to hear how we can't do this new project. I want to hear how we can do the project." Can this be adapted to your needs?

Thank you again, this really helps me in getting started on a brand new school year. She is our Hospitality person ( kind of ironic). We are way on our way to a great year. I love being on the PTO Board and also helping out at school. I do it because I want to and I do it for my little girl. She will learn form me that helping others is a good thing.

If she is not an executive board member or a chairperson of any of your committees, then count your blessings. As a volunteer parent, you can control her during your meetings by stating that no negative comments will be tolerated during PTO meetings. We began to place the following excerpt from our bylaws on our meeting agenda and it stopped all verbal bashing that previously went on.

The public meetings are reserved for reading the minutes, budget information, old business, new business and current updates. Criticism of individual teachers, administrators or parents shall not be voiced in open meetings or executive sessions. Any individual problems arising shall be taken up outside the public meeting. Discussions regarding the above mentioned shall be addressed with either the President of the PTO or the Principal of the XYZ School, in accordance with ABC Township School policy.

I would suggest that you make it clear at your first PTO meeting that negative comments will not be tolerated and you intend for the meetings to be productive and keeping to the agenda. As far as outside of meetings, you cannot stop her. We had one woman that went as far as to use PTO email lists to send out her comments and outright lies about me and the actions of other members of the PTO. That is why we don't use email as a normal resource for providing information. The use & abuse can be very damaging.

If you do speak to her, you may cause more harm than good. She will then be able to talk about how you approached her.....yade yada. Unless you actually overhear her yourself and can say something at that very moment, I would just hope that the parents know her for what she is "a rumor mongel" and one that is seeking attention and they will ignore what she has to say.

My situation happened two years ago and last year we had a great year and since the woman in my school was put in her place by several parents for what she said about the PTO, she never showed up last year.