There are several pieces to your post. First of all, I wouldn't have a problem giving the check to the school, as long as I got a letterhead note accepting the donation and indicating how it will be spent. I would NOT, however, just hand all our annual money over to the school at one time. We have a budget that limits how much the principal can spend on certain types of things (ex: educational materials, camp scholarships, character awards, building extras, etc.). We wouldn't just give over all that money, even if we have raised it already. The principal needs to stay within our budget limits and the definitions of each budget category.
We have an education foundation in our district that is set up as its own 501c3. I'm sure they would love to have the PTO's donate money to their cause, but we are not required. Nor would we do that since it's not for our school only, and we would lose control over how the money would be spent. I'm not sure if that's similar to your situation, but it sounds to me that your capital campaign is a different beast than your PTO. If your group really is its own 501c3, then no one except your members can tell you where to put your dollars.
When your group was granted 501c3 status, your bylaws must have been suitable to the IRS. Just be careful in changing them that you don't inadvertantly make them non-conforming to 501c3. You need to send in the new set with your annual IRS Form 990/990EZ, and it would be a bummer to get a letter back from the IRS saying you have to rewrite them again. You can pull the required language from the instructions for Form 1023 which you can read at
www.irs.gov
. As I remember it, the 2 critical sections are your Purpose statement and the Dissolution clause.