Hi!
Regarding the bylaws, is there a former secretary you can check with? Sometimes they are the ones responsible to post them online or add changes/amendments. So, that's one possible source. If you can't find the bylaws at all, then the next step would be to write new bylaws. We can provide you with resources to do that.
How To Write Bylaws
10 Key Points About Bylaws
Sample Bylaws from the File Exchange
There really isn't a national group that has organizational bylaws you could use for your group. As far as the restrictions on school employees as PTO presidents, sometimes the school department itself has restrictions for employees. But, if you are going to need to write new bylaws, it would be a great time to determine what your group wants as a policy regarding school employees and set it in the bylaws.
Having said all of that, the PTO president's status as a school employee really isn't related to her being a bad president. If she's harsh and is creating turnover, that's a problem, regardless of where she works. (Some groups have teachers as presidents and all is fine.)
So, if you want to tackle the personality issue, we have a great article on dealing with difficult people.
How To Write Bylaws: https:/classic.ptotoday.com//pto-today-articles/article/968-how-to-write-pto-bylaws
Sample Bylaws from the File Exchange : https:/classic.ptotoday.com//filesharing/document/813-pto-today-annotated-bylaws
How to Deal With Difficult People : https:/classic.ptotoday.com//pto-today-articles/article/409-how-to-deal-with-difficult-people